Dr. Ism's Formula.

From Citizen X :


Obviously American, but the message applies everywhere.

People Like You Voting BNP.

.. Or so the bile-filled leaflet that came through my door yesterday told me.

My first question, before even reading any of it's contents was 'Who exactly, likes me voting BNP? '

Which people?!

The British Nationalist Party can't even get our written language correct!
I do not pretend to be some kind of linguistic expert, but surely a campaigning political party would get it right, right?

Well, upon further inspection, I realised, without surprise, that the leaflet was full of shit anyway, so I put it to good use...

Turbo and Rhea started to eat it, but they said it left a nasty aftertaste.

I suspect that will be the case if you vote for them too, so take the advice of these Ginuea Pigs, and piss all over the BNP instead!

The Difference Between MP's, And Us.

Hat tip to Trixy for this one.

The Hair Cut.

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door..

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Tonight

Going to test out the new tent, and camping gear this afternoon, just one night at Wren's, to make sure everything is as it should be with the tent, before we start taking it to the Moors.

Will have pictures, and a blog update on Sunday/Monday.

Haha!

Poor Karen Matthews.

It seems poor Karen Matthews is missing a few things while she's doing her time.

Sex, shopping, and coffee at her neighbour's, but not a word for any of her beer and fag tokens, er, I mean children, including Shannon, who was held prisoner in the base of a divan bed while her Mother plotted to grab newspaper reward money.

Poor Thing.

"Matthews said: "My downfall has always been men. I get the blame for everything.

"I am sorry - sorry that I am in here serving time for something I didn't do. But I have to decide how I always go for the wrong men.
"I was framed. I didn't do it. I don't care about money but how am I ever going to prove I'm innocent?"

They used to have people jump off rocky clifftops to prove their innocence. If they lived, they were deemed innocent by God, and were freed, but if they died, justice had been served, and the world had one less piece of trash roaming atop it.

That'd be cheaper for us taxpayers too!

Do the jump Karen!

Just A Quickie...

Chicken Katsu, followed by a delicious chicken teriyaki, with a couple of bottles of Asahi Black..

Mmmm...

That is all..

Dracula's Whitby Walk.

And so, to bring us right up to date with the walking, last week we went on the Dracula's Whitby walk.

This is another four mile walk, six kilometers or so.

Starting at Whitby Abbey, this took us along the coastal path to a camp site, then cross country, back into Whitby from the top.

Not a particularly difficult walk, but enough to work up an appetite for fish 'n' chips afterwards!

(Click 'em to see 'em.)

On our way to Whitby, we stopped off at the Hole Of Horcum, near Fylingdales. The story is, that a giant created the huge crater in the Moors, when he got so pissed off with his wife, grabbed a lump of land, and threw it at her!

He missed apparently, and created another Moors landmark, the name of which escapes me now.

On the coastal path from the Abbey.

It was quite a calm day at sea.

Bram Stoker wrote about Whitby;
"The houses of the old town are all red-roofed, and seem piled up one over the other anyhow,"

I used to love this bridge when I was a child. I remember the old dredger passing through it several times a day, cleaning the seabed.

View from the bridge.

View over the bay from St. Mary's Church graveyard.

St. Mary's Church clocktower.

Taken over the wall at dusk, the abbey is an iconic landmark for Goths.

Whitby at dusk.

I have to admit, I love Whitby. It just oozes gothic character, and it really isn't difficult to understand why Bram Stoker found so much inspiration in Whitby for his classic novel.

West Burton to Aysgarth Round.

The second walk we did was a little shorter than the first, only about four miles, or six kilometers.

First we drove to the village of West Burton, near Ripon, and parked up beside the village green.
It's one of those villages that makes you say things like,

"Ooh, wouldn't it be lovely to live here?" then start making silent plans in your head to move there one day, yet still know, deep down, that you never will!

There is a single pub, a village shop, a Post Office, and a family run Butcher's shop there, just like in the old days!

Wouldn't it be lovely to live there one day?

Anyway, we set off from West Burton, and walked over the fields towards Aysgarth. I was particularly looking forward to seeing Aysgarth Falls on this walk.

(Click 'em to see 'em bigger.)

The first ten minutes..

Okay, I got a bit lost here, the map didn't show all the bloody walls and fences that were in these fields. It was damned windy up on the tops too!

Eventually though, we got our first glimpse of Aysgarth Falls..

Not much I can say really.. The awesome power of nature?

Uh-huh..

I can't really take credit for this one, as I'm starring in it! Taken by my Girlfriend.

And here is what I was photographing in the photograph.

This was in an old farm building, not too sure just what it is, some kind of hay shredding contraption? Looks somewhat sinister though, so I thought it'd make a good photo.

I'd love to do this walk again in the summer, and get right down to the upper, mid, and lower falls, as we could only reach the mid to lower ones at this time of year.

I'll try not to get lost partway through next time too!

One of those moments..

A few weeks ago, we decided to start going for regular walks in the countryside. We live in York, which is pretty much surrounded by countryside, like the Yorkshire Dales, and North Yorkshire Moors.

I got a few books, you know the type, '50 Walks In North Yorkshire', and ' Historic Walks - North Yorkshire', and we are choosing a walk to do every weekend.

The first one we did was to drive out to Pickering, park up, then get on the steam train and go to Levisham, the first stop after Pickering, then walk back through the countryside to Pickering. It's about a six mile walk, or about 10km.

It was during this walk that we had one of those 'SHIT! I wish I had my camera ready!!' moments, when a Long-eared Owl swooped from the trees, flew DIRECTLY at us for a few moments, long enough for my eyes to focus fully on the detail of it's face, then flew off over the railway and into the distance.
Honestly, we were speechless for a minute, I think I managed to utter a few sounds of awe, but certainly no coherent words!

Maybe you wouldn't have been so awestruck, I'm a bit of a bird lover, a paying member of the RSPB, so it was a wonderful, and memorable experience for me.

I just wish I'd had my camera at the ready, but at least the owl gave me enough time to commit the sight to memory.

Anyhow, here are a few pictures of our first walk, we've done three so far, I'll be adding the others next.
(Click pics for a larger version.)

Levisham railway station, after a fifteen minute or so ride on the North Yorkshire Steam Railway from Pickering, our walk begins.

The first hill.

It's just down the road..

At the end of the road, through the gate..

Carry on..

Ah, the train is beating us back to Pickering..

Whuh-oh, road blocked..

After wading through a muddy bog to get around the road block, somewhere to wash our boots!

It wasn't far from here that we met the Long-eared Owl.

Now the train is lapping us!

Aha, somewhere else to wash the mud off our feet.. Maybe we should have waited a couple of weeks, for the ground to dry out a bit!

Just over this field! What do you mean you're scared of sheep?! What did you expect to find, walking through the Moors?!

Hmm.. Cutting it a bit fine for daylight, I think!

A sign of Spring, the snowdrops are out.

I really enjoyed this walk, and it was nice to have a ride on the steam train at the start, I hadn't been on one since I was a child.
We were going to have a look around Pickering castle too, but as you can see from the pictures, we mistimed it a bit for daylight!

Ah well, maybe next time.. In the Summer!