Friday 22 May 2009

People Like You Voting BNP.

.. Or so the bile-filled leaflet that came through my door yesterday told me.

My first question, before even reading any of it's contents was 'Who exactly, likes me voting BNP? '

Which people?!

The British Nationalist Party can't even get our written language correct!

I do not pretend to be some kind of linguistic expert, but surely a campaigning political party would get it right, right?


Well, upon further inspection, I realised, without surprise, that the leaflet was full of shit anyway, so I put it to good use...

Turbo and Rhea started to eat it, but they said it left a nasty aftertaste.

I suspect that will be the case if you vote for them too, so take the advice of these Ginuea Pigs, and piss all over the BNP instead!


Wednesday 20 May 2009

The Difference Between MP's, And Us.

Hat tip to Trixy for this one.

The Hair Cut.

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door..


Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.


Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'


Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.


And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.


Saturday 9 May 2009

Tonight

Going to test out the new tent, and camping gear this afternoon, just one night at Wren's, to make sure everything is as it should be with the tent, before we start taking it to the Moors.

Will have pictures, and a blog update on Sunday/Monday.

Haha!

I just thought this was hilarious!
The lad's face at 0:10 is a fantastic example of visual comedy!







Tuesday 5 May 2009

Poor Karen Matthews.

It seems poor Karen Matthews is missing a few things while she's doing her time.

Sex, shopping, and coffee at her neighbour's, but not a word for any of her beer and fag tokens, er, I mean children, including Shannon, who was held prisoner in the base of a divan bed while her Mother plotted to grab newspaper reward money.

Poor Thing.

"Matthews said: "My downfall has always been men. I get the blame for everything.

"I am sorry - sorry that I am in here serving time for something I didn't do. But I have to decide how I always go for the wrong men.
"I was framed. I didn't do it. I don't care about money but how am I ever going to prove I'm innocent?"


They used to have people jump off rocky clifftops to prove their innocence. If they lived, they were deemed innocent by God, and were freed, but if they died, justice had been served, and the world had one less piece of trash roaming atop it.

That'd
be cheaper for us taxpayers too!

Do the jump Karen!