Saturday, 3 December 2011

A man lives in the Village

A man lives in the Village, his name is Mr. Babbage,
He plays a little Cribbage, and grows a little cabbage,
He empties out his garbage, and eats a little porridge,
He sits outside his cottage, and wonders how he'll manage.

He used to work at Dullage, as a porter for the College,
Swept the hall and passage, dealt with all the baggage,
But now he's done with all the knowledge, and time has done it's damage,
So he sits outside his cottage, and wonders how he'll manage.

Friday, 9 September 2011


Just because it never goes away...

Thursday, 8 September 2011


Just because he's right... (And at 5.05, a hilarious story!)

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Saturday, 13 August 2011


Dear Mr. ********,

At approximately 1620 on Friday the 12th August, you indicated to me that you were unhappy with the outcome of a conversation we had approximately half an hour earlier, and instructed me to attend a meeting with you at 0930 on Monday 15th August.

During the earlier conversation, we were talking about an unexpected load from ****** being added to Yardman on Monday, and I voiced my annoyance to you that we had not been better informed.

I do not believe that I was insubordinate, or rude towards you at this point, it was, after all, just a comment that we all probably make every day about one or another of our customers. I then agreed to have a word with ************ at ******, to ascertain exactly what this load was, and if it was going to be a part of a bigger intake of pallets for her.

To my recollection, you then asked me if anything would make me happy, and my response was along the lines of ‘Not at the moment, no’.

At this flashpoint, I will state that I do not recollect exactly how, or why the conversation turned, but I know that I felt that I was being verbally attacked for being particularly quiet and preoccupied recently.

My clarity of the situation returns as I remember my response to another comment or question from you was to point out exactly why I do not feel that things are particularly great for me right now.

I told you that my Daughter was facing ASBO charges, and that she may have to come and live with me through social services because her Mother has failed so terribly with her upbringing, and that my Girlfriend and I had recently lost our unborn twins that she was carrying (Which you have been fully aware of over the last few weeks.), and that she in particular is struggling to deal with our loss.

Your response was,

“Well, everyone thinks they have problems don’t they?”

Can you not see how such flippant dismissal of a very personal response to a completely uninvited question that was asked of me, could cause a certain amount of annoyance?

You then continued to berate me on behalf of my work colleague, ****************, stating that I was making things difficult for him because of my attitude towards him. Until that point, I was completely under the impression that Mr. ********* and I work well together. I was in your office a few days earlier singing his praises, so your claim was news to me to say the least.

I asked what had been said about my conduct towards Mr. *********, and if he himself had made a complaint.

Your response was to warn me that I just need to watch how I am around people. –I have very little interaction with anyone on this site, I do my job, and I am told that I do my job particularly well, both by ****** staff (Yourself included.) and by our customers. I believe I enjoy a good relationship with virtually everyone on site, both staff and customers.

I am fully aware of my tendency to be short with people, when I am focussing on something that I think is more important than the split bag that needs moving from one shed to another, that has been sitting there for two Months and that the customer has been fully aware of and even seen.

I know that you have felt the need to have ‘chats’ with me about such reactions in the past (Approximately 4 times now.), but I genuinely believed that I had managed to keep my wits about me when dealing with you in particular. It has, after all, been a while since you felt the need to have ‘a chat’ with me, so I must admit my genuine surprise by this flare up between us, as we have, on a few occasions over the last couple of weeks shared laughter, and despair at the human race between ourselves.

I will not, however, be judged by you.

I will not have my problems be made light of by you, particularly when I do not feel that they are any of your business.

I wasn’t moaning, or complaining about them. I wasn’t seeking sympathy, or allowance for my problems. I simply volunteered information to you that I have been keeping close to my chest, that in no way whatsoever, has affected the quality of my work at ******.

I most certainly will not be berated by you, undeservedly.

I asked you several times to give me an example of this alleged behaviour, towards Mr. *********. I was met with the response of “It happens *****, you just need to watch yourself”, yet you were unable to pinpoint a single incident for me.

If I have acted badly towards Mr. *********, whom I hold a great deal of respect for, or if he has been offended or distressed by me, I will very willingly apologise to him, and explain those actions if necessary.

Raising your voice to me will only be met with resistance, and I will not be bullied by you.

Speaking or shouting over my voice will not make me back down, I will fight back and consequently, we ended up yelling at each other across the reception area.

I tolerate your rudeness, your interruptions when I, and others are speaking, and your refusal to allow me to finish answering questions that you have asked me yourself during our day to day dealings, but I will not be shouted down or browbeaten into quiet submission when you are attacking me, my personal life, and my relationship with colleagues.

At approximately 1620 on Friday the 12th August, you indicated to me that you were unhappy with the outcome of this conversation and instructed me to attend a meeting with you at 0930 on Monday 15th August.

I then asked you three times to confirm the nature of this meeting. You have refused to do so.

I have asked you to confirm whether or not it is a formal meeting to discuss my apparent continual failure to improve upon our previous ‘chats’. You have refused to confirm either way.

I then proceeded to make it clear that if this meeting was to be a formal discussion, I wanted to excercise my right to have a fellow employee present at this meeting, namely, Mr. **********, who I believe will be a very thoughtful, fair, and completely neutral influence in any formal discussion. You sneered, and told me you would see me in your office at 0930 on Monday.

I advised you not to scoff and sneer at my perfectly reasonable (And in full accordance with company policy.) request, and you told me again that you would see me in your office at 0930 on Monday.

Paragraph ‘a’ of the Principles section of the ****** Company Disciplinary Procedure says;

“At every stage of the procedure, an employee will be advised of the nature of the misconduct or complaint against them, their right to be accompanied, informed of all relevant evidence and will be given the opportunity to state their case before any decision is taken.”

You cited in implication, yet refused to advise me of any complaint made against me by Mr. *********.

You scoffed and sneered when I told you that I would seek accompaniment to this meeting if it is to be formal, and you still refused to confirm if said meeting is to be of a formal nature or not.

As you were leaving at 1650, I asked you once again if this was to be a formal meeting, your response was ‘*****, what have I said already?’ Well, nothing, because you have refused to confirm or even answer any of my questions regarding it so far.

Because of your refusal to confirm the nature and intent of this meeting at 0930 on Monday 15th August 2011, I feel that I must respectfully decline attendance.

I have made reasonable and multiple efforts to ascertain the nature and intent of this meeting.

You have neglected your responsibilities as site Manager, and my rights as an employee that are stated in the ****** Ltd procedural stages of policy by refusing to give me the information that I requested from you.

I will be in work on Monday 15th August, at my starting time of 0930 as usual, however I will not speak with you of this matter until you are willing to confirm the intent or purpose of any further discussion.

Please also be aware that I am considering commencing grievance procedures against you, on the grounds of;

1) Your abhorrent callousness towards an issue that has been proven time and time again to thousands of people in this Country each year, to be extremely distressing for both potential parents of miscarried, or failed pregnancies.

Furthermore, your comment of ‘It’s not an illness’ that you made in response to my asking for time off work to accompany my Girlfriend to an early scan several weeks ago, before we lost the twins, is another example that I will cite, of your total lack of sensitivity to my situation. At the time I felt the need to point out that the last time my Girlfriend was pregnant, she was almost killed by an ectopic pregnancy, hence the need for early and regular scans during any subsequent pregnancies.


2) Your further lack of sensitivity towards the serious social issue pertaining to the well being of my Daughter, the very nature, and implications of which should have been obvious from the information that I volunteered to you in my response during the conversation detailed above.

The sheer lack of consideration, and impact of these comments, plus what I can’t help feeling has been a personal attack on me during a period of great distress and worry, has left me questioning whether or not I actually wish to remain with ******.

This has been a job that I thoroughly enjoy, and I believe that I am particularly good at all aspects of my duties with ******, from my accounts work, to my excellent relationship with our customers, to driving the fork truck, to maintaining a successful stock control system database.

I have enjoyed it to the point of actually moving house into the village where we are based, with the intention of building a family around my work at ******.

Quite honestly, right now, and with the mists of outrage cleared, I am feeling particularly upset by the events of Friday 12th August.

Yours Sincerely,


Friday, 5 August 2011

Death Penalty?

Reinstate the death penalty?

Well, okay, but only for treason.

I can think of 650 treasonous bastards that I'd quite happily see hanging..

...From London lamposts...

...With piano wire..

Yeah, you know who you are..

Monday, 2 May 2011


If you believe this, then you are an idiot.

That is all.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Norman and Saxon

Norman and Saxon - Rudyard Kipling.

“My son,” said the Norman Baron, “I am dying, and you will be heir
To all the broad acres in England that William gave me for share
When he conquered the Saxon at Hastings, and a nice little handful it is.
But before you go over to rule it I want you to understand this:–

“The Saxon is not like us Normans. His manners are not so polite.
But he never means anything serious till he talks about justice and right.
When he stands like an ox in the furrow – with his sullen set eyes on your own,
And grumbles, ‘This isn’t fair dealing,’ my son, leave the Saxon alone.

“You can horsewhip your Gascony archers, or torture your Picardy spears;
But don’t try that game on the Saxon; you’ll have the whole brood round your ears.
From the richest old Thane in the county to the poorest chained serf in the field,
They’ll be at you and on you like hornets, and, if you are wise, you will yield.

“But first you must master their language, their dialect, proverbs and songs.
Don’t trust any clerk to interpret when they come with the tale of their wrongs.
Let them know that you know what they’re saying; let them feel that you know what to say.
Yes, even when you want to go hunting, hear ‘em out if it takes you all day.

They’ll drink every hour of the daylight and poach every hour of the dark.
It’s the sport not the rabbits they’re after (we’ve plenty of game in the park).
Don’t hang them or cut off their fingers. That’s wasteful as well as unkind,
For a hard-bitten, South-country poacher makes the best man- at-arms you can find.

“Appear with your wife and the children at their weddings and funerals and feasts.
Be polite but not friendly to Bishops; be good to all poor parish priests.
Say ‘we,’ ‘us’ and ‘ours’ when you’re talking, instead of ‘you fellows’ and ‘I.’
Don’t ride over seeds; keep your temper; and never you tell ‘em a lie!”

... This isn't fair dealing.

The political classes need to tread very carefully now..

Sunday, 26 September 2010